It is common for a pregnant body to draw attention and comments. Comments can come from friends and family, coworkers and even strangers. While most people are well meaning with their comments they can make some pregnant women uncomfortable. For some women it feeds into concerns they may have about their baby’s growth, or their own body shape or size. Research has also found a link between feeling unhappy with your body and post-natal depression. So, it’s important to look after your body image and mental health throughout your pregnancy - just like you would look after your physical health.
This happens to me – what can I do?
No response at all, or changing the subject may work in some situations. You set the boundary and let people know when they have crossed the line.
This table has some of our best come backs for those unwanted common baby body comments:
| Common pregnant body comments | Best comeback lines |
|---|---|
You’re HUGE or ‘you’re tiny’ You must be having a huge baby or you must be having a small baby | My doctor says the baby is growing right on track My body/bump shape is not up for discussion |
You look about to pop You must be due any minute | Not quite - I’ve still got two months to go Maybe you’ve forgotten what a pregnant woman looks like |
You’re much bigger/smaller than I was or you’re much bigger/smaller than so-and-so | We’re all different |
That dress makes you look bigger | Isn’t it funny how people say things to pregnant women that they would never say to someone otherwise |
Your boobs are massive | My body/bump shape is not up for discussion |
You must be having a boy/girl because of a certain shape or size | We don’t know what we’re having or I’m actually having a boy/girl |
Are you sure it’s not twins/triplets? | Yes I’m sure |
Let me tell you my horrendous birth story…. | No thanks |
| Your waddling | How about we talk about something else... |
Pregnancy is a wonderful time. Isn’t it normal to comment?
In our ‘diet culture’ we’re told a constant message that some body shapes are better than others. For some women, these comments can:
- raise concerns about the baby’s growth
- raise concerns about their own body shape or size
- increase anxiety about a pre existing illness or physical feature
- reinforce unhealthy behaviours used to control weight gain during pregnancy
- make women feel self-conscious or not good enough
- feel like their weight/shape during pregnancy is something well within their control (it isn’t)
- create unrealistic expectations of what pregnant women should look like
- reinforce the message to women that what they look like is important (when there’s so much more to her than that).
If you feel the need to say something try these instead
"You're glowing"
"You're body is doing amazing things right now"
"You're creating life"
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
Get the help you need
While it’s common to have a shift in your body image during pregnancy and after giving birth, if it’s causing you distress or stirring up unhealthy thoughts or behaviours, there is support available. See The Butterfly Foundation website for help. It’s important for your health and the health of your baby.
For more general information and support relating to your body image during pregnancy and beyond, visit the Body Confident Mums website